Fear of Success

One of the big barriers to success is fear. Many of us fear being succesful. How dumb is that you say but then we start throwing out a few sabotaging questions.
How will that change my life? Scary... unknown...
What impact wil it have on my friendships, or family life?
What if I lose what I have?
What sort of person will I become? (Successful people are ruthless, always busy, selfish, pushy, don't have time for themselves or their relationships etc....)
What if I make the wrong decision?
Can I make the commitment that doing something different requires of me? (Am I good enough?)

It is questions like these, often lurking just below the surface of our thinking that can freeze us from taking the steps we need to become more successful or cause us to sabotage our own success (never finishing, always late, procarstinating, looking for perfection, being disorganised).

The truth is, without some fear we could end up making some costly mistakes, and some fear can be positively protective. We are born with 3 instinctive fears -falling, loud noises and abandonment. The rest we have acquired along life's way sometimes clouding our actions and out beliefs.

If I ask myself if I have at times allowed fear to keep me from pursuing what I wanted I would have to say, hand on heart, a resounding yes, many times over. Lets see.... fear of rejection that caused me to not pursue a relationship, fear of what others might think if I opened my mouth to speak in a meeting, fear of looking the fool etc. My fear tends to stick in my throat like I was bunged up inside with cotton wool or go running round in anxious little knots in my stomach. Have I let fear cause me to sabotage my success? Yes!

But consider this, when we 'feel the fear but do it anyway' how that transforms us! When we can expose our core fears, they seem to have less of a hold on us. And what are those core fears? Lisa M in Conquer Fear says there are but 2 - Fear of Success when your experiences are around committment, responsibility, change and growing up, and Fear of Failure when your anxieties are around rejection, confrontation, loss and not measuring up

The first - Fear of Success - have negative beliefs that express themselves with statements like:
Success has to be hard.
Its lonely at the top.
I'll become an egotist if I become successful.
People expect a lot from me

The second - Fear of Failure - have negative expressions such as:
If I say no people won't like me.
If I don't finish then I won't fail
I have nothing valuable to offer
I've got to do it perfectly or its not worth doing at all

And the thing that fuels the fears? Negative self limiting beliefs! It stands to reason that reexaming my beliefs about myself and acting 'as if', in spite of the fears are going to help me score a victory for success, determine how I use my opportunities and whether I will attract those things in my life that will help me to succeed.

So here's a challenge I am setting for myself - to make time each day for positive self talk that affirms my belief in myself (e.g. in believing that I am excellent as I am) and to take action around one thing that I have found fearful in the coming week. You heard it here first.

My appreciations for today

1. Those people who have somewhere in my life believed in me enough to give up something of themselves to nurture my growth - like Miss Kirby to whom I am grateful for the help she gave me as a struggling 17/18 year old
2. My husband for his support and encouragement
3. For free fruit from the hedgerows and the abundance of delectable fruit the earth provides for us all - especially mangos, custard apples, pineapples, bananas, gauvas, jackfruit....I could go on!

I have followed through on the remaining contribution I wanted to make.

Personal Development with Success
http://yvonnem.successuniversity.com