Developing stronger relationships

One of my mastermind group members has a problem disentangling himself from a personal relationship that is strangling his success. We’ve been using the experience of others in the group, especially those who’ve dealt with similar situations, to brainstorm ways he can move forward but he is fragile and depressed and can only respond to these with “yes, but…”

 But before our meeting is ended, he picks up on a couple of the offered suggestions and says he will try. I hope he does more than try. And the group will be holding him accountable.

 This is most certainly not a therapy group although it can be therapeutic. I notice that with each meeting as we get to know each other better, start to build a shared history, we become more trusting and aspects of our lives that are a bit more intimately challenging, we may disclose more readily knowing that all members of the group are committed to helping each other and to our success.

 Together we can solve problems, gain insights and added motivation and achieve our goals quicker and more successfully than if we were trying to do it on our own.

We have a long way to go yet. Some people need to listen more and talk less, some to fully commit to attending meetings, some to ensure they both set their goals and keep to them, and all need to keep challenging each other to maintain the spirit and ethos of the mastermind group.

 One of the vital essences of building a strong bond with each other though is that we have compatible interests. My group was arbitrarily formed from a course we did together as a group interested in creating greater financial success. Many mastermind groups are formed on the basis accelerating financial success. 

However we assumed that meant we had similar visions and that isn’t necessarily so. And what we acknowledged from the start was that financial success could not be entirely separated from taking a more holistic approach.

 We are still coming to terms with being at different levels of our wealth creation journeys and with different needs. We have to work on that. And that will become more apparent as we work at creating stronger bonds with each other.

Blessings of today

1. There was sunshine and a bit of warmth today where before it was just horribly cold. I threw open the doors and basked in the sunshine for 5 minutes. I needed my Vitamin D fix. And it was good. Real good!

2. For all the information that a stranger gave me that could potentially accelerate my success, I am very grateful.

3. A moment to draw breath today after the frenetic and very busy last few days.

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Fear of being unsuccessful

"True Success is overcoming the fear of being successful." Paul Sweeney.

How many times have you been on the edge of launching out on a new road and felt more than a bit of fear in your stomach? Loads! Just about any life changing event can cause such a reaction.

But I suspect truly successful people feel the fear but do it anyway.

Now take the current economy. Not a pretty sight, is it? The media is full of dire omens about the state of credit, the economy, the housing market, the banking system. Most people I know are watching it all with interest and more than a sense of foreboding.

So does it make sense to be doing a property investing course just now? For that's what we're about to do with the intention of learning the strategies of becoming successful ultimately in this area.

The warning signs are there . I've seen the You Tube videos. Well lets say, I've had to stop. Its a  pretty depressing picture and its not that I don't want to be informed, I just have this innate feeling that it increases the fear and inhibits taking action. 

I'll be writing more about how I am getting on. The stakes are high and so is the potential success.

Blessings for today

1. After a couple of weeks of not speaking, my son has finally started to communicate with me. Something to celebrate.

2. A sparrow came to the garden today. So what? Only a sparrow... They have become so uncommon as garden birds that its a rare treat now to see one. And looking out in my garden, it is abundant with wildlife of one kind or another and I am glad to live in an environment where they can be encouraged.

3. I discovered there is a cycling proficiency course for adults and which is free of the usual charge. Hurray. I get to learn to ride a bicycle and it doesn't cost me. Thank you universe.

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Manifesting Abundance Through Gratitude

Those of us familiar with the Law of Attraction will not be surprised at the idea that whatever we are or have in our lives we have attracted to us - including those things we really didn't want. But when we want to manifest abundance, happiness and success in our lives, developing a mindset of gratitude channels us to getting more of  what we really do want.

When things are going well, its easier to be positive and appreciative. But what can you be grateful for when there are things going on that are painful or hurtful? Finding some greater good in a difficult situation is a real challenge. Its undoubtedly harder to  maintain a positive outlook and keep your vibrational energy high.

I'm going through a difficult work situation at the moment and it certainly presses my buttons. But I need to firstly accept that I have in some way manifested this situation that's been hurtful and secondly to thank the person with whom I am wrestling for the learning that comes from this situation.

It's only natural to ask how the heck did we attract awful things into our lives. Why would we? We have a lot of experiences in our lives we label 'good' or bad' that's just part of our own evolving.

If we entertain the idea of having a 'soul' that is infinite, we might possibly also consider that all our bad experiences, even death, is part of our souls' learning to get something right. However many lifetimes it takes for us to learn, we have an eternity to do so.

And that idea helps me not sweat the small stuff. Like my son not speaking to me at the moment because I'm insisting he gets into household chores more. Hurtful, but this is really really small beer compared to the bigger stuff.

Yes the downs are good too, for they have something to teach us. And I know if I just stay in a negative place in this matter, that's counterproductive to the greater things I want in my life.

Manifesting I hear is a science. I don't understand quantum physics - I just accept it exists. And thoughts are energy. I accept that too. Science tells us that energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only change forms.

And when our thought energy is around success, abundance and happiness we tend to attract more of that into our lives. Developing an Attitude of Gratitude, even when life seems flat or worse destructive, helps us to change the energy around us. So I can choose today to generate a different more positive energy in and around me by being grateful to my son and my colleague for our differences and the learning that comes from that.

"Be Mindful of your thoughts, Anekin. They'll betray you."  Obi-Wan

Blessings for Today

1.  I know where my son is and what he is doing. I am thankful for his safety and his recovery from a little illness. And for his determined spirit - even not to speak to me today.

2. For what I learn about myself and where I must give more mindfulness, I am grateful to my colleague.

3. For the time I have this Easter holiday, for spending time at home without any pressures to get from A to B and even more for being warm and safe indoors when it was wet, windy, snowy, sleety, and generally vile outside.

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If you knew you had but a short while to live

What is a 'short while'? Two weeks? 6 months? 3 years? 40 years? Does it make a difference how we would prepare for leaving this earth if we had some certainty about when we would die? Would we give up wanting to achieve anything? Tell our loved ones how much they mean to us? Ensure we leave a lasting legacy, a symbol of our sojourn here on this earth? 

Who knows till we are actually faced with such a scenario what our direction would be.

When my sister lay in Kingston Public Hospital in the final stages of cervical cancer, I confess I didn't know how to help her face dying. I wanted, in the face of her pain and inevitable demise, to tell her that it was OK if she wanted to go, that she could just close her eyes and slip away. Yet I was present when others spoke to her of miracles and faith and hope.

And I didn't think I could take that away from her, especially as all along I too was muttering to the divine universal spirit to create for her the best possible health outcome. In the end, I said nothing except to give her the love and attention I could while I was with her.

There is a man I have seen on video recently, Randy Pausch, who knows he is dying and that it is 'shortly' to be inevitable. He has created an incredible statement on video that has now been watched by millions of people all over the world. His courage and capacity is to be admired and its led me to wonder what I would do if I knew I had but a short while to live.

To view the video, click here

But it is not in the dying but in the living that we really make our imprint. And I learnt things about my sister, about her way of living which I had not understood, that told me that as impoverished as she was, she had the capacity for touching the lives of others by what she was able to give of herself, sharing with and caring for others. 

How she did that when she knew so little of being cared for in her early years, I do not know, but its been a blessing for others that she was able to do so. And she has taught me many valuable  lessons.

Blessings for today

1. My teenage son has gone into a moody strop today but I hold dear the imprint of his head leaning against me in the cinema yesterday and the closeness of him as we waited for the train on Waterloo Station. And I know this moodiness will pass and we will again be right with each other. And I am blessed with him and give him all my love.

2. What can I say about today which was cold and wet and horribly grey? Ah yes! The bright yellow daffodils and dancing in the garden and they bring good cheer.

3. The results of my blood test indicate a healthy system and that is indeed a huge blessing.

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Leveraging Other People’s Resources

I went to a couple of introductory talks this weekend on property investment and both made the point about leveraging OPM – Other People’s Money – to raise the finance for property investment. It led me to thinking about how through the medium of the mastermind group, we can also leverage OPR – Other People’s Resources to develop our enterprises. 

The idea of using other people can seem a little exploitative and unethical to some people. However consider this in the context of a group of people who mutually exist to help each other become success and are willing to commit their time, energy and available resources to doing so. 

Then its much more a win-win situation for all concerned to exploit the collective talent, mindfulness, contacts and other resources available within the group. In this way the individuals within the group gain far more than they could just using their own resources. 

Of course its been done since time immemorial in a number of different ways. Consider the Co-operatives, the Masons, Boys Own clubs, and so on to name but a very few. And then, there is the Mastermind Group. 

In a financial sense, when you leverage OPM, you are borrowing someone else’s money that you can invest in a way that you intend to bring a far higher rate of return than you could do from the cost of paying the interest. 

Within the context of the mastermind group, its connecting with others who want to share their ideas and information to help you solve the problems of your business and to grow. So everybody gets to accomplish more with less energy than they would if they were trying to move that boulder all by themselves

 There are some groups you wouldn’t want to or couldn’t become involved in but the mastermind group is within the capacity of everyone to share in. If we look at a classic often held-up model of success such as Henry Ford, we have here someone who exceeded his personal capacity from impoverished beginnings, to become one of the richest Americans of his time. 

Here’s the thing though, he achieved most outstandingly during the time when he formed a mastermind alliance with other like minded business acquaintances, enabling him to leverage the combined knowledge, experience, intelligence and resourcefulness of the group to grow his business. And for ordinary people like you and me, wanting to raise the levels of success in our lives, the same principles can apply.

To quote Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich “No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.” 

“A group of brains coordinated (or connected) in a spirit of harmony will provide more thought-energy than a single brain, just as a group of electric batteries will provide more energy than a single battery." 

There are of course lots of other ways to leverage Other People’s Resources. The power of the Mastermind group is but one. However, almost all successful people use leverage and a good mastermind group can make that happen. There is simply not enough of our own time, energy and other resources to achieve the success we require in the time we need it. And success isn’t about extracting every last ounce of your own energy and resources to get there, for that carries a huge personal cost which may not sustain your success.

Blessings for today

1 When I dropped my son off for his football training and matches and I see all the kids running around doing their thing I am so very grateful to the dedication of all the coaches, youth leaders, scouts and others who freely give up their time for my and other people’s children. The amount of time and commitment required from them is enormous and we are blessed to have such people with us. 

2.My sister died this week. Its been a tough time for her family. I am grateful for the time I have had to go visit and spend with her recently and deeply moved by what I have learnt about her, of the lives she has touched.

 3. Spring is struggling to bust out, the days are definitely getting longer and there is more sunshine around. I am so pleased to be experiencing the renewal that comes at this time of the year with the promise and hope of good things ahead in the coming months. I appreciate that hugely. Its a time for looking forward and the growth that's to come.

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No Glass Ceiling - Just Blue Sky

Today I just wanted to share a short (3 minutes) beautiful movie I came across today. Its by a woman called Marcy Blochowiak sharing her ideas of what for her are the secrets of success. It's got some lovely music and beautiful photographs and I would here share just one of her inspirational quotes.

"Believe and Achieve - the only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible."

Click here to watch

And here is the rest of it. Blessings for today

1. The companionship and ideas that flowed from spending a day with Sindy.

2. Cheek to cheek contact with my son

3. I am grateful a time to kick back after a period of intense work, when the tensions have lifted and I can just relax for a while.

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Put It Away!

I have, I think, the same level of incredulity that most others I know have toward the story of the ex hospital porter who blew away his £10m lottery win and is back to sleeping on his mother's floor. Now wait a minute! You know and I know that we'd never make the same damm fool mistakes this poor chap did, don't you? Well, roll on another lottery  euro million winner last week and what's about the first thing he goes out and does? Yep. There he goes driving down the road in his spanking new farrari. Now where have I seen this before? Boy do we ever learn? Right? How do we get a poor boy, load him up with as much booty as his little arms can carry and watch him grow from rags to ...well, rags. The mind boggles.

What's one of the fundamental differences between how the rich and the poor handle their money? The thing is the rich by and large save and invest their money and spend what's left. The poor spend their money and save what's left.

Reminds me of the saying - Jesus Saves......only he can afford to! Lets face it, most people live a fairly hand to mouth existence. If they're lucky and push comes to shove, they can survive independently achieving personal independence and financial security for a couple of months if that.

If you've got something saved up, you've got a Plan B for when life throws a wobbly at you. Then we can protect and provide for ourselves with a certain level of confidence. We've got a safety net. I know I run the risk of sounding like an old codger who remembers only how good things used to be, but boy I can't help feeling that its harder for us today to exercise the discipline required of us to put a bit aside consistently than it used to be. My mother regularly used to put aside an amount with a company for her funeral expenses! Wow, those days are gone.

Most people will say how hard it is to save. (Only Jesus can - geddit?) Our £10m man would probably have said the same. The things is, its not the level of income we have.  It's what we do with it. How many super athletes and entertainers out there formerly with fat cheques coming in now stare bankruptcy in the face? How did it get to be like that? Its not the money. It's the discipline.

Put it away! Little by little. And regularly. Why? Try self reliance,  to further your dreams and goals, security, peace of mind, safety and stability, contingency plan, safety net, as a discipline in your life. And so on.

This idea of self reliance seems eroded in our culture. How else can we explain the trillions we have out on credit. It's a way of life for a lot of us now. But you know, borrowing in itself is not the problem. In fact it can even be a wise thing to do if you can find a way to make that money work for you. No , I don't mean put it on dog racing!

What if you invested your borrowings say in property that will increase in value and ultimately earn you much more than you could just keeping it in the bank? It's the financial sense that alas most of us were never taught or acquired along the way. We just don't know what to do.

So the picture in my mind is - Save. Put it away. Do it regularly. Aim for 10% of your income. Don't touch it except in extreme circumstances. Maintain a discipline. Aim to have at least 6 months of living expenses set aside. Learn how to make that saving work for you through compound interest(that's a whole other issue).

Blessings for today

1. Although it was bitterly cold and below freezing today, the sunshine was brilliant. And inside I am fortunate enough to have a heated house. I am one of the lucky ones. I cannot begin to imagine the trauma and suffering of those Afghan people who are dying or losing limbs to frostbite and the immense cold that they now face. The divine universe manifest the best possible outcome for them.

2.  My son went out paintballing with a friend on occasion of the friend's birthday. He was a little troubled at shooting and being shot at and I am glad to have him consider that there are implications for firing guns at people. We know the difference between paintballs and bullets. Its just horrifying to think of children the world over who would not be able to blink at the thought of using a gun to kill or to maim. My heart goes out to them and those who suffer as a result of their actions.

3.  My friend was playing some Indian Classical Music while I massaged her today and it was simply exquisite to listen to. I really appreciated that.

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