Reflecting on Change in the Mastermind Group

My mastermind group has been in a process of change recently. 

One member had simply drifted away and couldn't be contacted and the remaining male was uncomfortable both with what he felt he could bring to the group and about being the only male. This group has been going for about a year now and in many ways feels like its still working at finding itself. So I've been keen to look at how long does it takes for a mastermind group to feel established (how long is a piece of string?) and what elements determine the strength and success of the group.

What's needed for the success of this group?

Similar interests?  - Well we are a 'money mastermind group' and while our focus was financial we were mostly on very different paths. It feels like it shouldn't matter as long as we could ask the right questions of each other, support, challenge, encourage and hold each other accountable for what we said we would do. Yet it's a bit of a divide when for example a solicitor and an engineer are trying to understand each other's world. 

Similar levels of success? - That clearly is not the case for us as there are many different levels of financial aspirations and success amongst us. What is clear and understood by us however is that financial success is nothing without other aspects of our personal development being in alignment. And that is something of a level playing field.

A shared desire to achieve success? Its extraordinary how capable we are of saying one thing and meaning another! I mean, some of us may intend success at one level but find that we sabotage clearly our efforts. Its  as though we are saying to the universe 'Yes I want success' while at the same time negating it in our thoughts and by our actions. 

Fear of success can be an disempowering as fear of failure. And of course it sends out mixed messages to the universe. So I'd say a real desire to grow and to strive for your goals was fairly important then to the results people get from the mastermind group.

Awareness of others? Are members willing to really listen to others, make space for them, truely desire to put self aside for a while and go with the experiences that others bring? One member of our group struggled with not being able to bring in personal stories that detracted from the work and time belonging to another member of the group. Its a fine line from being supportive and sharing your expertise in a way that empowers the other person.

Well where that leaves us is that we are now looking for one or two new members to join this group. And what's going to work are people who able to support others, share their experience, talents and skills, have a vision of what they want to achieve and a willingness to strive for it, who will accept support and challenging from others in order to really fan the flames of their own success and who accept the general masterminding principles. It could work beautifully.

Blessings for today

 1.  The learning and experience that I gained from others thats excited my interests and increased my motivations.

2. My son is mostly coming towards the end of his exams - just about 4/5 more to go. I'll just be glad for him and for me that the end is in sight. What's been good is to see his growing confidence in what he has been able to achieve and that keeps his spirits up which can only be a good thing for me too of course.

3. A couple of days have felt like real summer this week  and thats been so much longed for over the many months past. Its wonderful to feel and see and hear and experience summertime.

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An Inspiration

“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced.” Swami Vivekananda

 My boy ran in the London marathon today and I'm so proud of him. He ran for his borough in the Adidas mini marathon coming in second for his borough and beating his own set time.

And he deserved his victory. He trained so hard. Even when we begged him to scale back. He found the training sometimes very boring but nothing would stop him carrying on and setting his own  schedule.

While all the time staying well focussed on his school studies for his coming GCSE exams, putting in 6/8 hours of revision. 

There's a lesson in there for me..

“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.” Zig Ziglar

He's's set his own schedule and timetable and I'm lucky I don't have to do any cajoling/nagging/persuading that parents often have to do. His own inner determination and keen spirit keeps him going.

And he is such an inspiration to me. Frankly  he puts me to shame when I consider my own wasted hours. I can't turn back the clock but I wish I'd had what he has within him when I was his age.

I know if he'd fallen over flat on his face I'd still be so very proud of him and still look up to him as an inspiration because I know he'd have got up and carried right on to the end of the road.

My role model! My son!

You go boy!

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” Colin Powell

Blessings for today

1. My son is the biggest blessing in my life - even when he's being a bit of a pain which naturally he can be from time to time.

2 We've been hearing about an increasing threat in the world - that the basic cost of food is spirally and that there is great shortage all around the world. We've always known that food distribution worldwide has always been unequal but a new horror sits with us. What on earth is all this about? Is this some more hideous man made shortage? What does it mean for millions when they start being rationed for a once staple food item like rice that has kept so many from starvation? What does this have to do with blessings? Well, I and my family are the lucky ones living in a country our gripes are about the high petrol prices, what the government is or isn't doing, and so on. But we do not starve. In fact, we have more than enough for our needs. We are indeed well fed. What a blessing it is to be so when millions will worry tonight about where their next meal is coming from.

3. My family have all had dreadful coughs and colds and yet I have remained bug free. It is a blessing to be healthy and to feel it too.

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Developing stronger relationships

One of my mastermind group members has a problem disentangling himself from a personal relationship that is strangling his success. We’ve been using the experience of others in the group, especially those who’ve dealt with similar situations, to brainstorm ways he can move forward but he is fragile and depressed and can only respond to these with “yes, but…”

 But before our meeting is ended, he picks up on a couple of the offered suggestions and says he will try. I hope he does more than try. And the group will be holding him accountable.

 This is most certainly not a therapy group although it can be therapeutic. I notice that with each meeting as we get to know each other better, start to build a shared history, we become more trusting and aspects of our lives that are a bit more intimately challenging, we may disclose more readily knowing that all members of the group are committed to helping each other and to our success.

 Together we can solve problems, gain insights and added motivation and achieve our goals quicker and more successfully than if we were trying to do it on our own.

We have a long way to go yet. Some people need to listen more and talk less, some to fully commit to attending meetings, some to ensure they both set their goals and keep to them, and all need to keep challenging each other to maintain the spirit and ethos of the mastermind group.

 One of the vital essences of building a strong bond with each other though is that we have compatible interests. My group was arbitrarily formed from a course we did together as a group interested in creating greater financial success. Many mastermind groups are formed on the basis accelerating financial success. 

However we assumed that meant we had similar visions and that isn’t necessarily so. And what we acknowledged from the start was that financial success could not be entirely separated from taking a more holistic approach.

 We are still coming to terms with being at different levels of our wealth creation journeys and with different needs. We have to work on that. And that will become more apparent as we work at creating stronger bonds with each other.

Blessings of today

1. There was sunshine and a bit of warmth today where before it was just horribly cold. I threw open the doors and basked in the sunshine for 5 minutes. I needed my Vitamin D fix. And it was good. Real good!

2. For all the information that a stranger gave me that could potentially accelerate my success, I am very grateful.

3. A moment to draw breath today after the frenetic and very busy last few days.

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Fear of being unsuccessful

"True Success is overcoming the fear of being successful." Paul Sweeney.

How many times have you been on the edge of launching out on a new road and felt more than a bit of fear in your stomach? Loads! Just about any life changing event can cause such a reaction.

But I suspect truly successful people feel the fear but do it anyway.

Now take the current economy. Not a pretty sight, is it? The media is full of dire omens about the state of credit, the economy, the housing market, the banking system. Most people I know are watching it all with interest and more than a sense of foreboding.

So does it make sense to be doing a property investing course just now? For that's what we're about to do with the intention of learning the strategies of becoming successful ultimately in this area.

The warning signs are there . I've seen the You Tube videos. Well lets say, I've had to stop. Its a  pretty depressing picture and its not that I don't want to be informed, I just have this innate feeling that it increases the fear and inhibits taking action. 

I'll be writing more about how I am getting on. The stakes are high and so is the potential success.

Blessings for today

1. After a couple of weeks of not speaking, my son has finally started to communicate with me. Something to celebrate.

2. A sparrow came to the garden today. So what? Only a sparrow... They have become so uncommon as garden birds that its a rare treat now to see one. And looking out in my garden, it is abundant with wildlife of one kind or another and I am glad to live in an environment where they can be encouraged.

3. I discovered there is a cycling proficiency course for adults and which is free of the usual charge. Hurray. I get to learn to ride a bicycle and it doesn't cost me. Thank you universe.

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Manifesting Abundance Through Gratitude

Those of us familiar with the Law of Attraction will not be surprised at the idea that whatever we are or have in our lives we have attracted to us - including those things we really didn't want. But when we want to manifest abundance, happiness and success in our lives, developing a mindset of gratitude channels us to getting more of  what we really do want.

When things are going well, its easier to be positive and appreciative. But what can you be grateful for when there are things going on that are painful or hurtful? Finding some greater good in a difficult situation is a real challenge. Its undoubtedly harder to  maintain a positive outlook and keep your vibrational energy high.

I'm going through a difficult work situation at the moment and it certainly presses my buttons. But I need to firstly accept that I have in some way manifested this situation that's been hurtful and secondly to thank the person with whom I am wrestling for the learning that comes from this situation.

It's only natural to ask how the heck did we attract awful things into our lives. Why would we? We have a lot of experiences in our lives we label 'good' or bad' that's just part of our own evolving.

If we entertain the idea of having a 'soul' that is infinite, we might possibly also consider that all our bad experiences, even death, is part of our souls' learning to get something right. However many lifetimes it takes for us to learn, we have an eternity to do so.

And that idea helps me not sweat the small stuff. Like my son not speaking to me at the moment because I'm insisting he gets into household chores more. Hurtful, but this is really really small beer compared to the bigger stuff.

Yes the downs are good too, for they have something to teach us. And I know if I just stay in a negative place in this matter, that's counterproductive to the greater things I want in my life.

Manifesting I hear is a science. I don't understand quantum physics - I just accept it exists. And thoughts are energy. I accept that too. Science tells us that energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only change forms.

And when our thought energy is around success, abundance and happiness we tend to attract more of that into our lives. Developing an Attitude of Gratitude, even when life seems flat or worse destructive, helps us to change the energy around us. So I can choose today to generate a different more positive energy in and around me by being grateful to my son and my colleague for our differences and the learning that comes from that.

"Be Mindful of your thoughts, Anekin. They'll betray you."  Obi-Wan

Blessings for Today

1.  I know where my son is and what he is doing. I am thankful for his safety and his recovery from a little illness. And for his determined spirit - even not to speak to me today.

2. For what I learn about myself and where I must give more mindfulness, I am grateful to my colleague.

3. For the time I have this Easter holiday, for spending time at home without any pressures to get from A to B and even more for being warm and safe indoors when it was wet, windy, snowy, sleety, and generally vile outside.

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If you knew you had but a short while to live

What is a 'short while'? Two weeks? 6 months? 3 years? 40 years? Does it make a difference how we would prepare for leaving this earth if we had some certainty about when we would die? Would we give up wanting to achieve anything? Tell our loved ones how much they mean to us? Ensure we leave a lasting legacy, a symbol of our sojourn here on this earth? 

Who knows till we are actually faced with such a scenario what our direction would be.

When my sister lay in Kingston Public Hospital in the final stages of cervical cancer, I confess I didn't know how to help her face dying. I wanted, in the face of her pain and inevitable demise, to tell her that it was OK if she wanted to go, that she could just close her eyes and slip away. Yet I was present when others spoke to her of miracles and faith and hope.

And I didn't think I could take that away from her, especially as all along I too was muttering to the divine universal spirit to create for her the best possible health outcome. In the end, I said nothing except to give her the love and attention I could while I was with her.

There is a man I have seen on video recently, Randy Pausch, who knows he is dying and that it is 'shortly' to be inevitable. He has created an incredible statement on video that has now been watched by millions of people all over the world. His courage and capacity is to be admired and its led me to wonder what I would do if I knew I had but a short while to live.

To view the video, click here

But it is not in the dying but in the living that we really make our imprint. And I learnt things about my sister, about her way of living which I had not understood, that told me that as impoverished as she was, she had the capacity for touching the lives of others by what she was able to give of herself, sharing with and caring for others. 

How she did that when she knew so little of being cared for in her early years, I do not know, but its been a blessing for others that she was able to do so. And she has taught me many valuable  lessons.

Blessings for today

1. My teenage son has gone into a moody strop today but I hold dear the imprint of his head leaning against me in the cinema yesterday and the closeness of him as we waited for the train on Waterloo Station. And I know this moodiness will pass and we will again be right with each other. And I am blessed with him and give him all my love.

2. What can I say about today which was cold and wet and horribly grey? Ah yes! The bright yellow daffodils and dancing in the garden and they bring good cheer.

3. The results of my blood test indicate a healthy system and that is indeed a huge blessing.

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Leveraging Other People’s Resources

I went to a couple of introductory talks this weekend on property investment and both made the point about leveraging OPM – Other People’s Money – to raise the finance for property investment. It led me to thinking about how through the medium of the mastermind group, we can also leverage OPR – Other People’s Resources to develop our enterprises. 

The idea of using other people can seem a little exploitative and unethical to some people. However consider this in the context of a group of people who mutually exist to help each other become success and are willing to commit their time, energy and available resources to doing so. 

Then its much more a win-win situation for all concerned to exploit the collective talent, mindfulness, contacts and other resources available within the group. In this way the individuals within the group gain far more than they could just using their own resources. 

Of course its been done since time immemorial in a number of different ways. Consider the Co-operatives, the Masons, Boys Own clubs, and so on to name but a very few. And then, there is the Mastermind Group. 

In a financial sense, when you leverage OPM, you are borrowing someone else’s money that you can invest in a way that you intend to bring a far higher rate of return than you could do from the cost of paying the interest. 

Within the context of the mastermind group, its connecting with others who want to share their ideas and information to help you solve the problems of your business and to grow. So everybody gets to accomplish more with less energy than they would if they were trying to move that boulder all by themselves

 There are some groups you wouldn’t want to or couldn’t become involved in but the mastermind group is within the capacity of everyone to share in. If we look at a classic often held-up model of success such as Henry Ford, we have here someone who exceeded his personal capacity from impoverished beginnings, to become one of the richest Americans of his time. 

Here’s the thing though, he achieved most outstandingly during the time when he formed a mastermind alliance with other like minded business acquaintances, enabling him to leverage the combined knowledge, experience, intelligence and resourcefulness of the group to grow his business. And for ordinary people like you and me, wanting to raise the levels of success in our lives, the same principles can apply.

To quote Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich “No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third intangible force which may be likened to a third mind.” 

“A group of brains coordinated (or connected) in a spirit of harmony will provide more thought-energy than a single brain, just as a group of electric batteries will provide more energy than a single battery." 

There are of course lots of other ways to leverage Other People’s Resources. The power of the Mastermind group is but one. However, almost all successful people use leverage and a good mastermind group can make that happen. There is simply not enough of our own time, energy and other resources to achieve the success we require in the time we need it. And success isn’t about extracting every last ounce of your own energy and resources to get there, for that carries a huge personal cost which may not sustain your success.

Blessings for today

1 When I dropped my son off for his football training and matches and I see all the kids running around doing their thing I am so very grateful to the dedication of all the coaches, youth leaders, scouts and others who freely give up their time for my and other people’s children. The amount of time and commitment required from them is enormous and we are blessed to have such people with us. 

2.My sister died this week. Its been a tough time for her family. I am grateful for the time I have had to go visit and spend with her recently and deeply moved by what I have learnt about her, of the lives she has touched.

 3. Spring is struggling to bust out, the days are definitely getting longer and there is more sunshine around. I am so pleased to be experiencing the renewal that comes at this time of the year with the promise and hope of good things ahead in the coming months. I appreciate that hugely. Its a time for looking forward and the growth that's to come.

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